A letter intercepted from the Home Office

Dear Ms. Mary Parker Broge,
We would like to take this opportunity to address what is becoming a regular problem in your on the job performance. While your overall output has been at acceptable levels we are not pleased with when you drop off your work. You have decided to hold on to the work and then drop it off all at one time, and often this is only after we have sent in a messenger to remind you to drop it off. There are a number of problems with this delivery of your work. One clear issue is that the sudden drop off of a ton of work creates a mess which is hard to organize and clean up after. It is also worth noting that holding on to the work until a messenger is sent in after it actually provides more pain and trouble for you. Let us take this most recent excursion. You will note for the many hours leading up toward the “great work delivery” you had so much work in your cubicle that you felt all cramped, were irritable, stiff, and at one point were so hemmed in you looked positively pale and lethargic. This cannot be an enjoyable condition to be in. Please look at your fellow worker in the nearby office space, Ms. Emma Jane Broge. Note that her output equals yours, but that she is able to drop it off at regular intervals. This actually allows her more time to be laid back, relax, and make cute faces at the office security cameras. This mode of delivery also provides a great deal of stress for upper management back at the home office. They end up spending the bulk of the day wondering where all your work is and worrying that it might not get turned in at all. This eventually erodes into their precious sleep time as your nightly managers begin calling in the wee hours of the morning when it becomes apparent you are going to miss yet another dead line.
In closing, we are very grateful for the massive amount of work you dropped of early this morning, but we would appreciate it if you would begin dropping your work off in smaller chunks and in a timelier manner. I am afraid that, because of this, Ms. Emma Jane Broge will once again need to be given the Employee of the Week award. And of course with that comes the coveted parking space. I will remind you that the quality and quantity of your work is up to this standard, but until you begin dropping it off in a timely manner this award will continue to elude you.
Sincerely,
The Home Office.